True Success Comes from Self Definition, Not Self Discovery

True Success Comes from Self Definition, Not Self Discovery

When I asked my cousin, a wealthy real estate investor, to share the secret of his success; his answer surprised me. I was expecting for him to share some sort of to do list or routine.   You know, the type of stuff you see in Inc or Forbes Magazine. Instead his answer was much more simple, and much more profound.  His simply said "I lied to myself everyday until I believed it".

Three Reasons That Ps Excel in Pressure Situations

Three Reasons That Ps Excel in Pressure Situations

Perceiving is the preference that causes us to hold off on coming to conclusions in favor of taking in more information.  With that being said, people with a strong preference for Perceiving prefer flexibility, are adaptable, and prefer to put off decisions until absolutely necessary. 

#Q&AwithJay: Feeler Male and Thinker Female Relationships

#Q&AwithJay: Feeler Male and Thinker Female Relationships

Today’s question comes from Lionel  and Violet  of New York, NY.   They asked:

“Do you have any tips for relationships for couples where the male is a Feeler and the female is a Thinker? We’ve noticed that in many instances that our roles are reversed. Any suggestions?”      -Lionel & Violet

Hi Lionel and Violet,  there are a few things I can suggest…

3 Benefits of Aspiring Toward an XXXX Personality Type

3 Benefits of Aspiring Toward an XXXX Personality Type

Jungian/Myers-Briggs speak, having an X preference means being equally comfortable using two opposing preferences.  For example,  a person with STP preferences that is equally adept at using extroversion and introversion would be considered an xSTP.   Having an x preference in one of the dichotomies can be extremely beneficial, but imagine what it would be like to have an x preference in all four? A person with an XXXX personality type would be a superhuman, able to access all 8 cognitive functions with relative ease!  

How to Get Successful Results When Debating with a Person with a Feeling-Perceiving Preference

How to Get Successful Results When Debating with a Person with a Feeling-Perceiving Preference

Yesterday, I shared tips on how to hold your own in a debate with person with a Thinking-Judging preference.   After reading the article, several of you asked me via email and on Facebook for an article detailing how to communicate with a person with a Feeling-Perceiving preference.  If yesterday's post was an education on logic and critical thinking skills (which are imperative when communicating with TJs), today's is a crash course on emotional intelligence. So, with that in mind, here are four tips for getting positive results when debating with people with a Feeling-Perceiving preference.

How to Hold Your Own in a Debate with Someone with a Thinking-Judging Preference

How to Hold Your Own in a Debate with Someone with a Thinking-Judging Preference

During a disagreement, people with a Thinking-Judging (TJ) preference are typically extremely confident. They usually believe that they are right, and that the other party is not seeing the facts clearly.   This attitude of certainty can be extremely intimidating for others, especially people with a strong Feeling preference.  However, with the right approach, you can hold your own in a debate with a person with a TJ preference.   Here’s how.

#Q&AwithJay: Dealing with an Extremely Introverted Supervisor

#Q&AwithJay: Dealing with an Extremely Introverted Supervisor

"How do I deal with an extremely introverted supervisor?  His door is always closed, and when we have questions about work or need his approval for an assignment he makes us feel like we're disturbing him.  He's not really comfortable addressing the group, and sends requests and assignments mostly by email. I've never had a supervisor like this before."

Cultivating Present Moment Awareness is the Only New Year's Resolution You'll Ever Need

Cultivating Present Moment Awareness is the Only New Year's Resolution You'll Ever Need

It's that time of the year again!  The time of the year where people all across the world make New Year's resolutions, only to revert back to their old habits by February.   The time of the year where people use the hashtag #NewYearNewMe,  only to look extremely familiar a month or two later.  What causes people to fail year after year at fulfilling their New Year's resolutions? Is it lack of motivation?  Laziness?

I Know My Personality Type, But What’s a Cognitive Function?

I Know My Personality Type, But What’s a Cognitive Function?

Myers Briggs/ Jungian Typology is pretty popular.    On any given night at a cocktail party anywhere in the world, you can find a group of people discussing their 4 letters, and the strengths and weaknesses of their type.  Often times, you will hear an observation that makes all folks moderately familiar with type cringe “Our personalities are almost the same, we’re only one letter off!”

#LeadingIntotheWknd: 3 Tips for Managing People with a Judging Preference

#LeadingIntotheWknd: 3 Tips for Managing People with a Judging Preference

Happy Holidays everyone, in this week’s edition of #LeadingIntotheWknd,  I’d like to provide some tips for managing people with a Judging Preference. For those of you not familiar with Jungian personality theory, people with a Judging preference like order and routine.  They tend to be organized, honor deadlines and commitments once they are made, and are uncomfortable with ambiguity. They like to have things resolved, and prefer working in a structured, predictable environment.

3 Things That Will Transform an Inspirer (NF Preference) from Gandhi to Tupac

3 Things That Will Transform an Inspirer (NF Preference) from Gandhi to Tupac

People of the Inspirer Personality Style (ENFJ, ENFP, INFJ, INFP) are some of the most loving human beings on earth.  They are the only temperament in which all four types share a Feeling preference, and this combined with their preference for Intuition cause them to strive toward fulfilling their vision of  a world where people are treated equally, emotionally supported, and living their life’s purpose.  While Inspirers are extremely nurturing and caring, they can also  become crusading, aggressive, cold, or distant if they feel one of their values are violated. Here are 3 things that can transform an Inspirer from Gandhi to Tupac.

#LEADINGINTOTHEWKND: Leadership Slide Deck Share

#LEADINGINTOTHEWKND: Leadership Slide Deck Share

Welcome to the first installment of #LEADINGINTOTHEWKND.  For the next few Fridays, I'll be posting content on leadership. For this first edition, I thought I'd share a slide deck I created on leadership.  The slide deck covers how your personality type affects your leadership style, and also provides an introduction to Transformational Leadership theory.

#Q&AwithJay: How to Get Along with My ENTJ Boss?

#Q&AwithJay: How to Get Along with My ENTJ Boss?

Hello all.  I received an email from Joseph T. of New York, asking about how to get along with his ENTJ boss.  Here’s his email:

"Hi Jason.  I’m reaching out because I just started a new job, and want to know how to get along with my boss.  I was told by a co-worker that he’s ENTJ , and that he’s an absolute drill sergeant.   All my co-workers are afraid of  him, and I’ve heard all type of horror stories about how he’s degraded people and their work.   However, there’s one person in the department who he always speaks highly of and whom he respects, and I want to be the second. How do I get on the good side of an ENTJ?

 

4 Tips For People with a Feeling Preference For Overcoming Failure & Rejection

4 Tips For People with a Feeling Preference For Overcoming Failure & Rejection

Everyone hates failure and rejection, but these situations can be especially challenging for people with a Feeling preference.  People with a Feeling preference, more so than those with a Thinking preference, take failure and criticism personally. This can be damaging to their motivation and self-confidence.  Failure and rejection are inevitable parts of life, and learning to deal with them constructively are necessary for personal happiness. 

Four Things that Happen To Our Personalities as We Age

Four Things that Happen To Our Personalities as We Age

Today is my birthday, and during this day I usually reflect on how much I’ve grown and how much more growing I have to do.   As I contemplate my own development, I can’t help but to look at how our personality affects our maturation. So today, in the spirit of self-reflection, I’d like to look at four things that happen to our personality as we age. 

Four Tips To Help Perceivers Survive a Judging World

Four Tips To Help Perceivers Survive a Judging World

People with a Perceiving preference live in a world dominated by Judging.   Meetings, calendar invites, and project schedules are a Judger’s play land, but are draining for those who prefer Perceiving.

5 Challenges of Being a Female with a Thinking Preference

5 Challenges of Being a Female with a Thinking Preference

Yesterday, we looked at five challenges that men with a Feeling preference typically experience.   Today we will examine women with a preference for Thinking.  As stated yesterday, Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F) is the dichotomy that rules how we make decisions and is the dimension most divided along gender lines.  People who have a Thinking preference make decisions based on what they perceive to be a set of logical rules and principles.  When making decisions, they do not consider their own feelings or the feelings of others as much as they do facts and objectivity. 

5 Five Challenges of Being a Male with a Feeling Preference

5 Five Challenges of Being a Male with a Feeling Preference

Out of all the different parts of personality, Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F) is the dimension most divided along gender lines.  For those of you not familiar with Myers-Briggs, Thinking vs. Feeling is the dichotomy that rules how we make decisions.  People who have a Thinking preference make decisions based on what they perceive to be a set of logical rules and principles.  When making decisions, they do not consider their own feelings or the feelings of others as much as they do facts and objectivity.  People who prefer Feeling make decisions based on harmony and their own personal values.

Make Everyday Thanksgiving With These 3 Tips for Cultivating Gratitude

Make Everyday Thanksgiving With These 3 Tips for Cultivating Gratitude

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on what we are grateful for in our lives. We often use this day to spend time with those we love, and to show appreciation for what we have.    However, after all the turkey is eaten and we return to our normal lives, many of us revisit feelings of dissatisfaction with our careers, relationships, and life circumstances.   These negative feelings can steal our motivation, make us feel constrained, and limit our ability to make positive change in our lives.

3 Tips for Turning Failure to Success

3 Tips for Turning Failure to Success


I recently re-watched The Social Network, the highly touted movie about the origins of Facebook.  For those of you who haven’t seen it, the movie starts out with Mark Zuckerberg having a drink with his girlfriend.   After a heated exchange (which in my opinion was Mark’s fault) his girlfriend Erica broke up with him.   Heartbroken and angry, he ran to his room and created www.facemash.com, the predecessor of Facebook. Later in the movie after Facebook had early success, Mark runs into Erica again, and again she spurns him.