Extroverts and introverts have different approaches to life. Extroverts tend to be outgoing, talkative, and social. On the other hand, introverts tend to be reserved, private, and quiet. If you’re an extrovert dating an introvert, you’ll soon discover that your partner has tendencies that are completely foreign to you. This is because psychologically socialization has a different effect on each of you.
As an extrovert, you are recharged by socialization, it reinvigorates you. Being alone for long periods of time probably has a draining effect on you, and this is why you’re more likely to enjoy being around others. Introverts are the exact opposite. They are drained by socialization, and recharge by being alone with their thoughts and ideas. When your need for socialization conflicts with their need for alone time, huge misunderstandings can occur. Dating an introvert is very different than dating a fellow extrovert, so here’s 5 tips to on how to get the most out of the relationship.
#1 Respect Their Need for Alone Time
In the beginning of the relationship, your introvert may gladly join you on your numerous adventures, and spend a lot of time with you. This is mainly because introverts value depth, and will want to learn as much as they can about you initially. However, don’t be surprised if he or she occasionally declines your invitation to hang out. Remember, socialization recharges you, but drains them. So while you may feel invigorated by seeing your love interest 5 days a week, it can eventually become draining for them. Be sure to give your introvert opportunities for alone time, and if they occasionally decline to hang out with you don’t take it personal.
#2 Don’t Ambush Them
Introverts usually have no problem hanging out in small groups with people they know well. However, they need time to prepare themselves for situations where they will be required to interact with a large group of people. With that being said, one of the worst things you can do is to invite additional people to join you and your introverted partner on a date without informing him or her in advance. If your love interest expects to spend alone time with you, inviting others without their foreknowledge will completely throw them off. Depending on their character, they may become distant, visibly irritated, or play it cool and give you a piece of their mind later when the two of you are alone. So, if one of your friends calls at the last minute asking to join you and your significant other out on a date, it would be wise to decline.
#3 Allow Them to Open Up to You at Their Own Pace
Extroverts are more comfortable sharing personal information than their introverted counterparts. So early on, don’t expect the same amount of disclosure from your introverted partner that you are willing to give. Introverts typically don’t volunteer information about themselves, and need more time than extroverts to open up. Rushing your introverted significant other to share more information with you than they are ready to give will push them away. Let the relationship develop organically, and your introvert will start opening up once he or she is comfortable enough.
#4 Don’t Embarrass Them in Public
Introverts do not like the spotlight, especially if it’s negative. Embarrassing behaviors such as yelling and arguing in public are some of the fastest ways to turn an introvert off. Introverts are typically reserved and will prefer to keep conflict between you and them. If you are upset with your introverted partner, be sure to discuss the matter with them in a private setting.
#5 Ask Them What’s On Their Mind
Introverts typically prefer to do more listening than talking, and will keep things to themselves. Be sure to check in with your introvert occasionally to make sure all is well with them. If your partner shares an issue with you, be sure to give them your undivided attention, and do not interrupt them. Also, do not attempt to solve the problem unless they explicitly ask you to do so. Allowing your introvert to share what’s on their mind will increase their trust with you, and will make them more comfortable sharing things with you in the future.