People of the Inspirer Personality Style (ENFJ, ENFP, INFJ, INFP) are some of the most loving human beings on earth. They are the only temperament in which all four types share a Feeling preference, and this combined with their preference for Intuition cause them to strive toward fulfilling their vision of a world where people are treated equally, emotionally supported, and living their life’s purpose. While Inspirers are extremely nurturing and caring, they can also become crusading, aggressive, cold, or distant if they feel one of their values are violated. Here are 3 things that can transform an Inspirer from Gandhi to Tupac.
1. Using Manipulation to Intimidate or Purposely Hurt Them
Inspirers are extremely patient and understanding. Most of them can deal with someone hurting them, as long as they feel it’s not on purpose. If the Inspirer feels that the person said something hurtful unintentionally, or if the person didn’t have malicious intent they can be pretty forgiving once they get over the initial sting. However, if the Inspirer feels that a person said something hurtful with malicious intent or to intimidate them, the Inspirer will distance him/herself emotionally from the offending party. The Inspirer will likely forgive the individual, but they will never forget and will need time to regain the emotional trust and intimacy that they had with the person who they feel purposely hurt them. In intimate relationships, this can be a challenge as the Inspirer’s friend or significant other will notice a distinct difference in the Inspirer’s behavior. The once attentive (sometimes bordering on smothering) Inspirer will become indifferent and detached. Inspirers don’t do this on purpose, it is simply a defense mechanism to protect them from getting hurt again. To remedy the situation, you will need to be patient and allow the Inspirer to work through his or her feelings. Rushing them or invalidating their feelings only makes matters worse. Also, do things to show the Inspirer that you truly care about them. The Inspirer wants to regain that trust with you, you just have to give them time.
2. Complaining But Not Taking Action to Change Your Life
Inspirers have an unlimited wealth of caring, and are especially concerned about the well-being of those that matter most to them. They will do all that they can to help you reach your goals, and will leave no stone unturned in supporting you. That is, as long as you are showing action on your end. An Inspirer puts their entire being into supporting those that they care about. They want you to succeed, and will use every ounce of their energy reserves to help you get to your goal. Seeing you make progress rejuvenates these reserves, however, complaining paired with inactivity doesn’t. The Inspirer who notices that you simply want to complain without action will drop you like a hot coal. They will become agitated when you discuss your situation, and will ignore your phone calls. If they do continue to advise you, their tone will be markedly different. They will go from attempting to inspire you with attractive future states, to holding you accountable for what they feel are the issues keeping you from growing in the situation. They will no longer readily offer you support, and will be skeptical about everything you say. The best way to resolve this issue is to take action! You have to want it more than the Inspirer wants it for you, and once you show you’re serious about change the Inspirer will readily support you.
3. Wronging Others
People of all personality types hate injustice. However, most people hate being personally wronged more than seeing others being wronged. Inspirers actually would prefer to see themselves wronged before seeing others wronged, especially people that they love. When an injustice happens, Inspirers go from being friendly and agreeable to crusading and assertive. Inspirers typically try not to offend others, but once they witness injustice they grab a bullhorn and call out the offending parties. Inspirers do not look at how you treat them, as much as how you treat others. If you’re mean or dishonest with others, most Inspirers know that you are more than capable of treating them that way as well. If an Inspirer sees wide spread injustice and makes fixing it their “cause”, they are typically willing to die for it, just as Dr. King (ENFJ) and Gandhi (INFJ) did. They do not fear consequences, as losing their job, leaving that relationship, or even dying is worse than living oppressed.