Everyone hates failure and rejection, but these situations can be especially challenging for people with a Feeling preference. People with a Feeling preference, more so than those with a Thinking preference, take failure and criticism personally. This can be damaging to their motivation and self-confidence. Failure and rejection are inevitable parts of life, and learning to deal with them constructively are necessary for personal happiness. Here’s 4 tips for people with Feeling preferences (or any preference for that matter) on how to deal with failure, criticism, and rejection constructively.
#1 Don’t Lose….Learn. Perceived Failure is Merely Feedback
Failure and rejection doesn’t have to be negative. Often times, perceived failures are simply feedback. If your idea is rejected, or you fail to reach your goal, there is plenty of information that you can use from the situation to improve moving forward. Maybe through your perceived rejection you learn that you could have articulated your idea more clearly, or you learn that one of the reasons you failed was an oversight in planning. Incorporate this information into your next attempt to improve your likelihood of success.
#2 Listen to What’s Being Said….Not How Its Being Said
Sometimes, style makes more of an impression on people with a Feeling Preference than substance. Receiving criticism from someone who lacks tact can be extremely upsetting. However, I must stress that you should try to listen to what’s being said, more so than how it’s being said. Doing so could help you gain valuable insight on why the individual rejected or criticized you or your idea. If you only focus on how things are said, you may miss out on valuable information that you can use to improve moving forward.
#3 Surround Yourself with Positive People
Having a positive support system is valuable in many ways, especially when we meet a perceived set back or failure. A perceived failure can wreak havoc on your self-confidence, therefore it is important to have people in your corner to support you in times of difficulty. Having a positive circle can also help aid you in reaching your goals. Someone from your support system may introduce you to a valuable contact, or may provide you with advice on how to reach your goals. Positive people are invaluable to our success and sense of well-being!
#4 Recognizing Your Role as a Co-Star
We are all the stars of our own lives. However, we must realize that everyone else is the star of theirs. It is important to understand that while you may be important to someone, their own needs will always trump yours. Recognizing your role as a co-star can help you set more realistic expectations when dealing with others, and can also help you recognize the motive for someone rejecting or criticizing you. Maybe they are defensive because your idea is better than theirs? Or maybe they want to support you, but have personal goals that conflict with yours? Usually, when someone criticizes or rejects us, it’s more about their own biases and goals than it is about your deficits or shortcomings. Plenty of famous people have had their ideas shot down, only later to succeed with the exact same idea. The only difference in each outcome is the people who either accepted or rejected it.